Psychological Torture - No Touch Torture

Bad Experiments

What is it like to be the  involuntary target of a cruel, unending campaign of round-the-clock psychological torture and battering with high-tech through-the-wall weaponry? How are these covert psychological no-touch torture campaigns conducted and why? What evidence supports the existence of through-the-wall surveillance technologies and directed energy weapons (DEWs) that make such attacks possible? In this account we follow a victims’ story and the accumulation of evidence to support it. These accounts are in chronological order (dating back to 2008) with the newest accounts first.

Unlike the claims of other online victims of these weapons (whether genuine or of dubious origin) this is not a personal attack on my antagonists. There is no name-calling or hate-filled commentary here. I am simply trying to gather evidence and make sense of what I have endured for over two decades.

Most importantly, I focus on solutions. I share the principles and strategies that have enabled me to survive this multi-year ordeal.

I’ve made an archived index to help you read my account in the order in which it is written. Go to the archived index here.

intinidation by police

Chapter 9: My West Side Story

I recorded this account over a decade ago while living in Newark, NJ. I was employed in New York City at the time. It provides an glimpse into the various forms of harassment and “street theatre” I have endured over the past eleven years. Law enforcement (and Federal agents posing as local law enforcement) are used as a tool of intimidation by my harassers. This post was published on April 30, 2008 and updated on May 7, 2017 (it has been taken out of chronological order).

I respect law. I do not fear law.

To some, that statement may seem to be nothing more than wordplay, an exercise in semantics. It is not. A person who respects law strives to be law abiding. On the other hand, a criminal fears law because it renders punishment for illicit activities. However, there is another danger that fear can present, even to the law-abiding man—fear can lead to anxiety, panic and poor judgement when threatened. Fear can be used against us. This is my story…

It was a sunny, late Friday afternoon in midtown Manhattan. My workday completed, I was strolling along 9th Avenue toward 51st St, wearing the suit and tie that are my everyday attire. I have a fondness for this area of New York City. It is populated with numerous family-owned ethnic restaurants. In fact, my favorite Italian, Greek, and Taiwanese restaurants are located along this busy strip, within a three block radius. My after-work Friday’s are often spent strolling, perusing menus, and finally selecting a place to dine. On this particular afternoon, I was alone.

I strolled along 9th Ave. approaching 49th Street (near the shuttered Cineplex theatre). My thoughts were on choosing a restaurant for the evening. As I looked two blocks ahead, I saw a NYPD (New York Police Department) van and an unmarked black Ford Crown Victoria, moving quickly through the traffic towards me. Both vehicles had their strobe lights flashing, and sirens blaring. The police van started to turn on 50th Street as I approached that intersection. Then, suddenly, a voice shouted from the van over a megaphone , “Go straight, he’s in front of you!” So the police van quickly veered back onto 9th Avenue and headed for the curb, about thirty feet in front of me.

Suddenly, five police officers, jumped from the van with their guns drawn and rushed towards me. Simultaneously, two plainclothes detectives jumped out of the unmarked Crown Victoria, guns also drawn, and joined this group of officers, all running towards me in unison…

I ask you, the reader, to put yourself in my shoes. How would you respond in this situation? You have been the target of continuous harassment by Federal operatives. Although innocent, you have been under constant surveillance and have endured numerous schemes designed to humiliate and provoke you. You have also been the target of numerous failed attempts to lure you into illicit drug purchases. Now, it all culminates in this one life threatening moment. What do you do? You have split seconds to react. How should you react? Do you panic, give way to fear? Do you begin to run?

What did I do?

The evening’s calm was suddenly ripped away by the drama that played before me. I watched as five police officers and two detectives leaped from their vehicles, rushing toward me with weapons drawn. Did my life hang in the balance at that moment?

My default response in times of trouble is to say a silent prayer to God. This one lasted only milliseconds. However, it was enough help me maintain my inner calm and bolster my courage. Time seemed to slow down dramatically.

As they leaped from the NYPD (New York Police Department) van, I visually focused on one of the five officers, and began to study every nuance of his actions. I invite you, the reader, to speculate with me for a moment. If five officers with guns drawn jump out of a police van to apprehend a dangerous suspect, the tension of the moment should be apparent in their faces, their voices, and their actions. At the very least, they would maintain an intense focus on the suspect—not doing so could be deadly! Don’t you agree? However, this is not what I observed in the officer I studied. He seemed to purposely avoid looking directly at me, keeping his focus on the officer taking the lead. Also, he seemed emotionally uninvolved, his face lacking the adrenalin-induced tension a dangerous encounter would normally produce. His body language told the truth. This was not a genuine arrest. It was a well-choreographed act of intimidation, a psychological ploy designed to instill panic and fear into me.

Here is something else that seemed quite odd in that moment. The officers and plainclothes detectives said nothing to me or to the shocked bystanders witnessing this sudden encounter. No shouted orders. . . not a word! Of course, I would have instantly complied with any orders they gave me. None were given. This critical omission confirmed my suspicion that this was a psychological assault.

As the officers rushed towards me, I calmly continued walking towards them, keeping a pleasant countenance, and never breaking stride. As the officers reached me, they broke into two columns, rushing past on my right and left as I strolled by. I heard them stop less than ten feet behind me. Without glancing back, I continued walking to the end of the block, waiting for the traffic to subside before crossing the intersection.

The bystanders who seconds before watched in horror were now laughing. I did not have to look back to know why…

“Be courageous and strong. Do not be struck with terror or fear, for Jehovah your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua. 1:9)

The assault was over. I calmly crossed the street and continued strolling without glancing back. You may wonder how I could survive this incident without losing control. Clearly, this was an injustice that should have provoked outrage on my part! Or should it?

Keep in mind the true purpose of this assault. It was a psychological attack with a clear motive—to induce fear. It was my potential response that could have done me the greatest harm, not their attack! They were prepared to exploit any anger and loss-of-control on my part. It would give them license to take control of me. An irrational public response would also have given bystanders the perception that I was a dangerous criminal. By controlling my response, in effect, I controlled the outcome of this incident—protecting myself from harm. If I had reacted emotionally, angrily, what would they have done to me?

Update May 7, 2017: Another Potential Motive for this Staged Encounter

A person is more likely to be exploitable or easily persuaded when in a state of fear. By creating a climate of fear, the exploiter gains an advantage over his target. My experiences in the years subsequent to this encounter confirms that this may have been the motive behind this event. Because I did not react in fear, I did not give those targeting me the opportunity they desired.

As I strolled along 9th Avenue towards 52nd Street, my mind went back to choosing a restaurant for the evening. Here was a tiny Brazilian cafe I had never noticed before. I entered, was seated, and decided to dine on a Brazilian style hamburger with a mango chutney recommended by the waitress (it was delicious). As I was eating, an African-American woman in business attire, came in and sat at a table near the entrance, giving her a clear view of the entire dining area. She ordered a Coke and began sipping slowly as she kept her cellphone to her ear. Because the cafe was tiny, I could easily overhear her conversation. She was a plainclothes agent talking to her superior while keeping me under surveillance. By her responses, I could easily discern the full scope of her conversation.

“What is he doing?” the voice in her cellphone growled. “He’s sitting here eating food.” she replied. Moments later, the voice impatiently asked “What is he doing now?” “He’s still eating,” she replied. Less than a minute passed before she responded a third time–“He’s just eating food!” As I glanced at her, I could see that she was relaxed, and chuckling quietly. She seemed amused by the outcome of the street drama that occurred minutes ago.

However, all the agents / officers involved in this drama did not find it so amusing. I instinctively knew that some felt humiliated, angered by the repeated failed efforts to entrap me. Given the cruel hubris that fueled so much of what I endured, I would not need to wait long for the next attack to occur.

The Value of Emotional Intelligence

A number of factors guided my actions in those few critical seconds. First of all, I knew that there was no legitimate reason for this attack. I had no illegal substances, no weapons, had not committed a crime, had not conspired to commit a crime. There was nothing in my actions, or conversation that would hint at criminal activity. I was determined that my response, even in the heat of the moment, would reinforce those truths.

Some experts in the field of psychology now feel that emotional intelligence (the ability to control emotions and deal empathetically with people), is more valuable than pure intellect when facing crisis. I faced an antagonist trained to exploit common emotional frailties. Therefore, it was not enough to be innocent, I also needed emotional defenses. Above all, my reliance on Bible principles has helped me to cultivate qualities such as patience, mildness, and self-control. These have been essential to my survival.

wolf in sheep's clothing

False Friends

The people who are at peace with you will deceive you. Those who eat food with you will set traps for you, and you won’t even know about it.” —Obadiah 7, God’s Word Translation


A key component
 of the ongoing psychological attack (directed energy weapons torture & organized stalking) that I have endured for over ten years are a stream of covert government-sponsored operatives masquerading as friends. Like wolves in sheep’s clothing, these individuals insinuate themselves into my life with malicious objectives. It is this aspect of the psychological attacks I undergo that demands the greatest degree of sober vigilance and insight.

These individuals have four major objectives: They provide interference so that genuine friendships of the targeted individual are either lost or exploited, contributing to isolation and loss of support. Secondly, they gather information, looking for weaknesses to exploit. Thirdly, they hinder the victim’s ability to obtain legal recourse for the abuses he has suffered. Above all, they are hidden persuaders, using coercive techniques to gain control of their victims.

It is in my workplace, and place of worship that a concentration of these individuals appeared. It appears that covert agencies in our country use a strategy similar to the Stasi (former secret police organization) in East Germany; recruiting and training operatives who then make a career of infiltrating organizations and businesses. Their true role will generally only become apparent to the individuals they target. This is the case with the covert personnel I have encountered.

There are five key traits I have observed in covert operatives who have sought to gain my confidence:

1. The “friendships” start at an unusually rapid pace.
I’ve noticed that these covert “friendships” tend to build quickly, far more rapidly than genuine friendships. The jump from total stranger to close friend is carefully orchestrated by the covert operative so that they can get up to speed with minimal delay. The covert operative may also highly praise other individuals that are coworkers in their scheme, hoping that you befriend and trust them as well.

If the first covert operative’s “friendship” effort fails, a “backup” will step in and seek to gain your confidence. Of course, he will have studied the reasons why the first effort failed, using the lessons learned to gain your confidence. All of the individuals used for these roles are carefully selected for characteristics deemed attractive to the target.

2. They seem to share and know all of your interests.
It is rare to have genuine friends that like everything that you do. Even marriage mates differ in tastes and interests. However, the covert operatives seeking to quickly gain your confidence have done their homework. They know your interests primarily due to information collected through surveillance. Their understanding of your interests may be wide but shallow and seems a bit forced and unnatural. It all feels rather intrusive, as if someone watched you and made a list of your daily activities. In truth, that is exactly what has happened!

3. They will try to crowd out and replace your long-held and trusted friendships.
That is perhaps the most obvious and consistent trait of all the covert operatives I have come in contact with. They slyly steer you away from trusted long-held friendships. They find ways to divert your attention and time. They may invent schemes that give them the opportunity to come to your aid in some way, thereby gaining your confidence and admiration. Their intent is to isolate you so that eventually they and fellow covert operatives are the only “friends” you have.

These individuals are trained to destroy the good name of the persons they target. They will use their role as your “closest friend” to raise doubts about you to others. Eventually, you will be maneuvered into a situation that leads to a loss of reputation, employment or other personal crisis. As a result, they must be treated with extreme caution.

4. They actively hinder the victim’s ability to obtain legal recourse or protection under the rule of law.
In this, we see similarities to an earlier program of government-sponsored abuses. During the Tuskegee Experiment, the U.S. Public Health Service conducted a 40-year study on 399 black men in the late stages of syphilis. These men were willfully and deceitfully denied treatment so that upon their eventual death from the disease, their corpses could be used for medical research. To keep the unwitting participants from getting proper treatment or information about their condition, an elaborate scheme of lies and manipulation was set in place that demanded the coordination of both Federal and local health and education agencies. A black nurse who gained the trust of these men was used to play a key role in deceiving them during this 40-year pattern of injustice.

It appears that modern programs of involuntary testing done with directed energy weapons and psychological attacks use a similar strategy to ensure that its victims never have access to any meaningful lawful protection from the abuses they suffer. The covert personnel masquerading as friends plays an essential ongoing role in this drama. They are the frontline of lies and manipulation intended to weaken and confuse any efforts by their victim to obtain legal protections under the law.

5. They exert a toxic, negative, and potentially destructive influence.
There is both an emotional and physical toll that comes from having a friendship with a person that is plotting against you. The Bible writer King David describes the effects of being betrayed by a close friend at Psalm 55:12-2-14, 17:

“For it is not an enemy who taunts me;
Otherwise I could put up with it.
It is not a foe who has risen up against me;
Otherwise I could conceal myself from him.
But it is you, a man like me,
My own companion whom I know well.
We used to enjoy a warm friendship together;
Into the house of God we used to walk along with the multitude…
Evening and morning and noontime, I am troubled and I groan…”

Your newly acquired covert “false friends” have cultivated a relationship with the intent of betrayal. They want to exploit your vulnerability by cleverly using anxiety, inordinate guilt, taunts and doubts to destroy your self-esteem. As you become more isolated from true friends, the dominant influence in your life becomes these crafty, deceitful persuaders. They are well trained for the task and employ psychological violence capable of serious mental and physical harm. In a very real sense, you are under attack. Their devious methods are perfectly captured in the way the Bible writer King David described his betrayer:

“His words are smoother than butter, But conflict is in his heart. His words are softer than oil, But they are drawn swords.” -Psalm 55:21

A person who is discouraged, depressed and robbed of self-esteem becomes easier to manipulate and control. Your thinking and emotions, now weakened by feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt, are the bounty sought by your covert false friends.

It can be an enormous challenge discerning the difference between genuine friends and covert operatives seeking to gain your confidence. In fact, in some cases, it is only after these covert individuals have done their damage that I discovered their true motive. After eleven years of psychological attacks and covert victimization (as of 2009), it is easier now to detect them early in their attack. I am better at spotting the signals. However, a hard-earned mental and emotional balance must be maintained. It is quite easy to misjudge the motives of well-meaning individuals.

These covert individuals are highly trained, organized, and appear to be employed or sub-contracted by government agencies in some way. I have noted that quite a number of these covert role-players appear to have military career backgrounds (they like to boast about that).

Keeping false friends at a distance is not always easy as they will persistently seek to infiltrate all areas of your life. At the very least, it may be possible to severely limit contact with some of these interlopers. Others can be neutralized simply by the fact that you are aware of what they are and exercise caution in their presence.

One powerful lesson I’ve learned is the need to choose friends wisely. Choosing close friends should not be based on happenstance events. Especially when surrounded by individuals who are deceitful by profession. I have adopted a policy of having a friendly disposition toward people in general, yet, being shrewd, discerning and selective when choosing friends. A chance encounter with someone who seems to share something in common is not a valid basis for a friendship.

Anyone slandering his companion in secrecy, Him I silence.” – Psalm 101:5

I admire the example set by King David, the writer of Psalm 101:5, who refused to keep company with anyone known for covert slander. He “silenced” such ones by refusing to listen to them.

A critical insight worthy of consideration
The psychological and physical dangers presented by these programs do not come from any one person. The various role-players in these abuses operate on the classic principle of compartmentalization used by all covert agencies who operate in secrecy.

For example, persons engaging in harassment on the street (commonly called street theater) may be unaware of the attacks their victim may experience at night when he tries to sleep, or the range of weapons involved. They only know what they need to know to play their specific role. However, it is the collective pattern of abuses that presents the greatest danger to the victim. Limiting the full details of these programs to a select few protects its secrecy. Most of the persons who play roles in these programs are not aware of everything that is being done to the targeted person.

Some of the participants may be thoroughly deceived, thinking that there is a legitimate basis for supporting a pattern of harassment. This has tempered my view of the situation. How?

The Bible has shaped my thinking in this regard:

When Jesus Christ walked the earth, he rightfully condemned the religious leaders of his day (the Scribes and Pharisees) because of their systemic corruption and hypocrisy. “Woe to You, Scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! Because You shut up the kingdom of the heavens before men; for You yourselves do not go in, neither do You permit those on their way in to go in…” -Matthew 23:13

As a group, the Pharisees opposed Jesus and were responsible for his death. However, Jesus did not assume that every individual Pharisee was beyond help, fitting a stereotype as it were.  He treated them as individuals.

When a Pharisee named Simon invited Jesus to a meal at his home to learn more about him, Jesus accepted the invitation. (Luke 7: 36-50) When a prominent Pharisee named Nicodemus secretly visited to learn more about his teachings (he was fearful of what his fellow Pharisees might think if he met openly with Jesus), he was warmly welcomed and instructed by the Christ. (John 3:1-9)

Jesus looked for the good in every person. He knew that the Pharisees were plotting to kill him. (John 11:46, 47, 53) Yet, he did not judge them all through an inflexible prism of prejudice but as individuals. Inspired by his example, I try to do the same. Although others actively seek to dehumanize me, I must resist the tendency to adopt that crippling flaw in my own thinking. Focusing on the positive qualities I see in others brightens my days.

Why Is This Happening?
The fact that seemingly endless resources are being invested in ways to covertly track, torture, and ruin the lives of persons who are not a threat to any institution cannot be explained as merely an isolated secular phenomenon. Once cherished concepts of justice and human rights are dying on an international scale. Human society has a growing, insatiable appetite for violence in all forms, including psychological cruelty. We are entertained by it, pepper our speech with it, and attempt to solve most of our problems with it. It brings to my mind a scripture that provides the only explanation that makes any sense:

“But know this, that in the last days critical times hard to deal with will be here. Men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, self-assuming, haughty, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, disloyal, having no natural affection, not open to any agreement, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, without love of goodness, betrayers, headstrong, puffed up with pride, lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God, having a form of godly devotion but proving false to its power.” —2 Timothy 3:1-5

I encourage you to read the words of David at Psalm 55 in your Bible. It is a great source of comfort. You will also discover that the trials we undergo are nothing new. You can endure!

Reference:
ACLU Report: The Surveillance Industrial Complex-How the American Government Is Conscripting Businesses and Individuals in the Construction of a Surveillance Society

I first wrote this post on March 6, 2009 – Updated January 2, 2017

Good Advice

If you had to pass on a bit of advice to a young man in two sentences or less that could save his life one day, what would it be? Given the tensions that grip our society today we need good advice, and advisers. Here are two short sentences found in God’s Word The Bible that I am convinced are of lifesaving value: “Return evil for evil to no one… As far as it depends upon you, be peaceable with all men.” -Romans 12:17,18

Isn’t that sound advice? It is timely as well. So often, an insult or flash of anger results in violence that can instantly change a persons life for the worse. How much better is is to hold back an angered response or simply walk away before the situation erupts into violence!

Sadly, we live in a culture that glorifies retaliation and so-called ‘good guy’ violence. Fictional superheroes in comic books and on the movie screen routinely engage in mindless acts of vindictive violence. Impressionable minds soak it all in. Even politicians at the highest levels engage in vicious verbal warfare, setting a poor example for those they lead.

Politicians fighting

I often discuss the Bible informally (I’m one of Jehovah’s Witnesses) with people in the downtown community near me. Because that area is home to several court buildings and a prison, I speak to a number of young men and families of individuals who have been caught up in the penal system. When I share the simple advice recorded in Romans 12:17,18 it comes as a breath of fresh air to them. It’s practical and desperately needed wisdom overlooked by a secular society that has forgotten the Bible.

Like learning how to read, learning how to become a peacemaker is a skill best learned in youth. Once acquired, it can be cultivated and refined, serving its owner well for a lifetime. How grateful I am that this is a lesson that I was taught in ‘the days of my youth.’

Bad Experiments: In Chapter Order

Here is my account of psychological harassment and directed energy weapons torture in roughly the order it was written. I am in the process of updating and improving the website so please bear with me!

Dress for Survival

Dressing for Survival

“The shrewd one sees the danger and conceals himself…” -Proverbs 22:3

A mere glance at current news headlines reveals that we are living in a violent age. Fear and anxiety drive the thinking and actions of many today. Irrational fears are often acted upon, leading to unintended consequences. As a Black male, I am aware that snap judgments are being made about me constantly. Some of those judgments may be biased and based on stereotypes or even a degree of hatred. For that reason, I follow the practice of “dressing for survival.”

What is dressing for survival? It means dressing in a way that makes a favorable impression. Our personal appearance says much about us. Many people judge us by the way we are dressed. If we are poorly groomed and attired we may be perceived as suspicious, unworthy of respect, or exploitable.

As a target of covert harassment, I see two clear benefits in always being well groomed and attired:

1. You feel good about yourself.

One of the intended effects of psychological battering is to crush the self-esteem of the person targeted. If you ‘let yourself go,’ you begin to form a negative self-perception. You add to your emotional burden. Don’t let that happen! I have discovered that I am much more likely to feel discouraged when I stop paying attention to personal grooming and attire. Making a good appearance is a silent way to “conquer the evil with the good.” -Romans 12:21

2. It is a protection.

When targeted by individuals who seek every opportunity to slander or malign you, dressing for survival offers a practical benefit. You take more control of how others perceive you by the appearance you make. That may serve as a protection.

In my situation, it is vital that I make a good impression before the general public and before authority figures such as members of law enforcement. Don’t give anyone an excuse to create a negative opinion about you because of your attire and grooming.

Whenever I need to visit Federal or state agency buildings for example, I wear a dress shirt and tie. Security staff and others are more likely to assume I’m a lawyer rather than a potential danger. Anyone who stays abreast of current events knows how easily false judgements can put the innocent in peril. It is a rather sad commentary on the realities of our modern society that it has come to this. But it has.

The Best Adornment

Of course, the best way to adorn ourselves is with a pleasant countenance and positive attitude. Kindness is the best cosmetic.

“If possible, as far as it depends on you, be peaceable with all men.” -Romans 12:18. When we do everything we reasonably can to make peace with others we avoid having a ‘chip on our shoulder.’ The Cambridge Dictionary defines “chip on your shoulder” as: to seem angry all the time because you think you have been treated unfairly or feel you are not as good as other people.

No matter how well dressed you are, a “chip on your shoulder” will ruin your appearance for sure. Be peaceable, make peace, and look good doing it!

Conquering Negative Thoughts

Psychological attacks are made with the intent of creating a climate of fear and crushing the spirit of the victim. When facing a barrage of negative encounters and attitudes, we can easily become overwhelmed by anxiety and crushed in spirit.

The faithful man King David in the scriptures well knew how it felt to be emotionally crushed by harsh words and ill treatment from his adversaries:

For the enemy pursues me; He has crushed my life into the ground. He has caused me to dwell in darkness like those long dead. My spirit is failing; My heart is numb within me.” -Psalm 143: 3,4

David endured being forced to flee as an innocent fugitive from a jealous King who sought to murder him. After becoming King of Israel,  he endured a betrayal by his son Absalom who tried to murder him to usurp his throne. He knew personally the pain of betrayal, injustice and slander. However, David never became overwhelmed with despair. How did he conquer his negative thoughts?

David focused on the solution, not on his problems. He was a man of prayer, and remained confident that God would hear his pleas and come to his aid. Note the confidence evident in his words recorded at Psalm 72: 12,13:

“For he (God) will rescue the poor who cry for help,
Also the lowly one and whoever has no helper.

He will have pity on the lowly and the poor,
And the lives of the poor he will save.”

How consoling those words are! They are also prophetic. The time for the fulfillment of these prophetic words is very near. We can enjoy everlasting life on a paradise earth under wonderful conditions. (Luke 23:43; John 17:3) Knowledge of these comforting Scriptural promises gives hope and consolation to those crying for help, and can help them to conquer negative thoughts.

When I Am Weak, Then I Am Powerful: Part II

“Do not be afraid for I am with you. Do not be anxious for I am your God. I will fortify you, yes, I will help you.” – Isaiah 41:10

In less than a half hour, I was at Presbyterian Hospital, staring up at a team of doctors and nurses prepping me for further examination and surgery. I was feeling very weak and made great effort to be attentive as they explained the procedures I was about to undergo. How will this turn out? I thought about my life up until this moment. Most of my adult life I had been focused on helping others as a minister of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I had always made financial pursuits a secondary issue. Now, I was in need of help. Yet, in spite of my concerns, a great calm came over me. In fact, I was convinced that I had no reason to be unduly anxious. Why?

Of course, I had confidence that the team of doctors and nurses would do their best to care for me. But that was not the true reason for my confidence. I had comfort from a much higher power. “Do not be afraid for I am with you…” Isa. 41:10

Those words reflect God’s feelings when his people are truly in need of support. Now, I could sense His care in my behalf. This was the most vulnerable moment of my life. Yet I sensed that whatever support I needed would be given in abundance by my Heavenly Father. It allowed me to remain calm and even maintain a sense of humor in that perilous moment.

I was sedated through most of the procedure, and awoke just before being taken to a private room on a floor for cardiac patients. All had gone well. That evening I enjoyed the most restful sleep I had in years. That sleep was significant. Generally, at home, I was subject to sleep deprivation. My antagonists would use noise or other methods to break up my sleep at night, preventing me from having more than three unbroken hours of restful sleep at most. This was something I endured for years, and no doubt contributed to my heart attack. However, when I needed it most, resting after surgery, I had the recuperative sleep I needed. My antagonists were kept at bay.

I was also delighted to have a private room, something I did not expect given my financial condition. Yet, here too I sensed the care of my Heavenly Father. It was as if He was seeing to it that I was getting the best care possible. “Do not be anxious for I am your God… I will help you.” -Isa 41:10

The week I spent in the hospital felt like a vacation. It was free of the typical negative encounters and psychological attacks that were normally injected into my daily routine by my antagonists. I was treated like a human being. It may be that my antagonists tried to convince the hospital staff that I was not worth being treated that way. But, consider this:

I was interviewed extensively by my doctors and nurses. Anything I said about myself would be confirmed or disproven by extensive blood tests and other medical tests as a matter of routine. I was not your typical heart attack candidate. I never smoked, never took any form of recreational or illicit drugs, nor did I ever abuse alcohol. I did not have the health issues common with a self-destructive lifestyle. That was all confirmed by what they saw as medical professionals. Typically, my antagonists go to great lengths to poison my good name, but you could not easily fool these doctors and nurses.

Presbyterian has an excellent reputation for cadiology care. I came to discover that good cardiologists can work pretty much anywhere they want. The good doctors and nurses who participated in my care were here by choice. They loved the New Mexico landscapes and the lifestyle it afforded. I had many pleasant conversations during my stay with my doctors and nurses about the joys of exploring the attractions of New Mexico.

Even the hospital food was enjoyable. While most of the generic menu choices were as expected, the New Mexican dishes were simply outstanding. The carne adovada and posole were superb. Whoever cooked these dishes took great pride in what they were doing, and I looked forward to ordering them for lunch and dinner (due to sodium restrictions that was less often than I would have liked).

I cannot say enough to praise the attentive and skillful life-saving care given to me by the doctors, nurses and staff of Presbyterian Hospital. While enduring a heart attack is a traumatic event, my stay at Presbyterian was truly enjoyable and the care I received was excellent. It provided everything I needed to recuperate as well as possible.

Above all, I thank my Heavenly Father. No one visited me in the hospital during my seven day stay, and I had no one to look after my interests. Yet, I was never truly alone. Never had I been so certain that my life was protected by a power that no human could thwart.

Nevertheless, there were greater challenges awaiting me. More to follow in future installments!